Today was the Day of Pentecost, AND we had two baptisms, AND 3 members of our college ministry (Project Canterbury) were serving (one as an acolyte, and 2 in the choir), AND 4 other PC members were sitting with me in the pews, including my son's girlfriend, who was with us at church for the first time, AND our supply priest, the Rev. Rob Henley, gave a WONDERFUL sermon with volunteers from the congregation (including my son) illustrating his sermon with a skit. It was, as Father Rob said, a day of many, many blessings. My cup was overflowing.
During the first reading, from Ezekiel 37: 1-14, during the part where the dry bones speak, they say, "Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost; we are cut off completely." This seemed to me to be what our church has been saying as our members have died off and our numbers have dwindled over the past several years. But then I looked beside me, at the young lives just starting out, their faces full of hope and promise, and I knew that the subsequent promise of the Lord in this reading was being fulfilled right before our eyes: "I am going to...bring you up from your graves,....I will put my spirit within you, and you shall live...." As our parish commences our search process for a new rector, and as we re-vision, this is good news.
Many people have approached my husband and me, praising us and thanking us for all we've done with the Project Canterbury ministry, and while that is gratifying, neither of us really feels like we've done anything to CAUSE this ministry to happen. It's not us, it's the Holy Spirit working through us, inspiring us to reach out to these young folks and to serve as catalysts for RELATIONSHIP. These young adults are developing relationships as friends, yes, but more importantly, they are developing relationships as brothers and sisters in Christ, as beloved children of God, and they are making this ministry grow by allowing the Holy Spirit to work through them as well, inviting their friends to join the group. The Spirit is working through others in the parish as well, and we've received donations of money, food, offers of discussion topics and venues for future gatherings. These gifts even further bless the RELATIONSHIPS that have been formed, expanding their connections with the greater family of God.
The best thing we can do to be a catalyst for RELATIONSHIP is to say, "Yes" when someone brings up an idea for a ministry or an outreach project, and to be present for whatever participation that the Spirit might ask of us. I remember one time long ago when I was hesitant to participate in a weekday church event.(To be honest, I was feeling selfish and hoping for some down time.) I told my friend, "I don't think I will go; I just don't get anything out of it." My friend, who was clearly channeling the voice Spirit at that moment, replied to my selfishness, "Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping you would be there because I always look forward to your insights." Sometimes the question to ask is not "What am I getting out of it?" but rather, "Am I making myself available to the Spirit so that someone else might get something out of it?" The number one necessity for RELATIONSHIP is presence. It's a lesson I've never forgotten.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
What if You Threw a Party and Nobody Came?
This question was posed in a Facebook post by ECF Vital Practices, and the author expanded the question to include our ministries, worship services, and events at church. With church attendance down nationwide, across denominational lines, it seems that everyone is wondering what we can do to reverse this trend.
Many years ago, when I was a single parent and new to my parish church, I found myself in charge of the Singles Ministry. There were many single people in the parish, and I attended a few Singles events before taking the helm. I organized a potluck supper event, sent out invitations, and spread the word in the bulletin and newsletter. The appointed day arrived, and I brought a platter of chicken and waited for my friends. Finally, Mary appeared with a big bowl of mashed potatoes. No one else showed up, so Mary and I enjoyed our chicken and potatoes and had a nice visit. But I was disappointed - what had I done wrong? Why had no one else come to my "party"? I went to my priest, who gave me counsel which I have used many times over the years. "Sometimes," he said, "a ministry has served its purpose and needs to die for a while. When the need arises again among the single parishioners, a leader will come forth, and events will be well-attended." In retrospect, I can see what happened. The single parishioners had been trying to force the existence of the Singles Ministry, despite dwindling participation, and they were burnt out. Then I came along, and they handed it off to me, thinking perhaps that a fresh person might make it work, but mostly just glad to be rid of the burden. I got busy with other ministries and then moved away, so I don't know for sure if the Singles Ministry was resurrected there. I do know that that church experienced phenomenal growth in the following 10 years, including building a huge new worship space and expanding many of their other programs.
At my current church, our numbers are in serious decline. We are an aging parish, and funerals are much more frequent than baptisms. We have a handful of elementary aged children, 6-12 teenagers in our high school Youth Group, and exactly two college students who attend regularly. Most of our teenagers go away to college, as our town has only a community college. Being the only Episcopal church in a town filled with Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian churches, our Youth Group has joined forces with the local Lutheran and Catholic churches, to put on events that none of the individual youth groups could afford. As a member of the Evangelism Committee, I reached out to these two college students and discovered that it was the traditional music and liturgy of the Episcopal Church that drew them to us. One of them, a native of Mexico, was raised Catholic, while the other grew up in the Baptist Church. They attend regularly on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings. One sings in the choir, and his mother sometimes attends. Both of them have "adopted" an elderly parishioner, sitting with her during services, and helping her to the communion rail. They have helped with outreach efforts at her house, treating her as if she were their grandmother. It is beautiful to watch. So what do we DO with these two young men who have obviously become a part of our church community? How do you start a College Ministry with only two members?
You organize an event and provide food, and you ask them to invite their friends, that's how. We've had two major gatherings so far, and both were well-attended. We have another gathering scheduled for this weekend. It's never the same group; there are work and academic schedules to consider, and most of these young people already "belong" to another church, even if they don't attend. Few, if any, will join our church as a result of this connection we've made with them. So is our College Ministry a success?
It is too soon to tell, but I would say yes. We are ministering to the spiritual needs of the two young men who HAVE become members of our church, and we are providing a safe space for them and their friends to talk about spiritual things with each other. Because college kids often focus on social justice and political activism, I hope to help them find a "cause" to learn about and work for as a group, perhaps culminating in a mission for the entire parish to support. I want to teach them about the resources of The Episcopal Church that they can use in effecting change in our society. For example, one of the young men is a deep thinker, an intellectual sort, and I helped him get a summer job as a counselor at the SUMMA Theological Debate Camp for high school students at Sewanee this summer. Who knows where this experience will lead him? The other young man is on fire for immigration reform and ways to stem the racial bias that exists in our community against Mexicans, and I hope to introduce him to a local Latino attorney who is forming a coalition to try to bridge the gap that exists between the good ol' boy locals and the Latinos who have come here seeking work. Again, who knows where this will lead? These boys won't be with us for long; they will be going on to finish their bachelor's degrees elsewhere. The message I want them to get from their time here is that The Episcopal Church is a loving place that will embrace them wherever they are on their spiritual journey and will provide them with a safe space, food, and caring adults who will guide them in following the Holy Spirit's call. The key is to be a catalyst rather than an engine, to show them all the opportunities out there and then step aside. There may come a day when we have no college students at my church, and when that time comes, we will follow my old priest's advice and let the College Ministry die. But hopefully we will keep our eyes and hearts open for a resurrection down the road.
Many years ago, when I was a single parent and new to my parish church, I found myself in charge of the Singles Ministry. There were many single people in the parish, and I attended a few Singles events before taking the helm. I organized a potluck supper event, sent out invitations, and spread the word in the bulletin and newsletter. The appointed day arrived, and I brought a platter of chicken and waited for my friends. Finally, Mary appeared with a big bowl of mashed potatoes. No one else showed up, so Mary and I enjoyed our chicken and potatoes and had a nice visit. But I was disappointed - what had I done wrong? Why had no one else come to my "party"? I went to my priest, who gave me counsel which I have used many times over the years. "Sometimes," he said, "a ministry has served its purpose and needs to die for a while. When the need arises again among the single parishioners, a leader will come forth, and events will be well-attended." In retrospect, I can see what happened. The single parishioners had been trying to force the existence of the Singles Ministry, despite dwindling participation, and they were burnt out. Then I came along, and they handed it off to me, thinking perhaps that a fresh person might make it work, but mostly just glad to be rid of the burden. I got busy with other ministries and then moved away, so I don't know for sure if the Singles Ministry was resurrected there. I do know that that church experienced phenomenal growth in the following 10 years, including building a huge new worship space and expanding many of their other programs.
At my current church, our numbers are in serious decline. We are an aging parish, and funerals are much more frequent than baptisms. We have a handful of elementary aged children, 6-12 teenagers in our high school Youth Group, and exactly two college students who attend regularly. Most of our teenagers go away to college, as our town has only a community college. Being the only Episcopal church in a town filled with Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian churches, our Youth Group has joined forces with the local Lutheran and Catholic churches, to put on events that none of the individual youth groups could afford. As a member of the Evangelism Committee, I reached out to these two college students and discovered that it was the traditional music and liturgy of the Episcopal Church that drew them to us. One of them, a native of Mexico, was raised Catholic, while the other grew up in the Baptist Church. They attend regularly on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings. One sings in the choir, and his mother sometimes attends. Both of them have "adopted" an elderly parishioner, sitting with her during services, and helping her to the communion rail. They have helped with outreach efforts at her house, treating her as if she were their grandmother. It is beautiful to watch. So what do we DO with these two young men who have obviously become a part of our church community? How do you start a College Ministry with only two members?
You organize an event and provide food, and you ask them to invite their friends, that's how. We've had two major gatherings so far, and both were well-attended. We have another gathering scheduled for this weekend. It's never the same group; there are work and academic schedules to consider, and most of these young people already "belong" to another church, even if they don't attend. Few, if any, will join our church as a result of this connection we've made with them. So is our College Ministry a success?
It is too soon to tell, but I would say yes. We are ministering to the spiritual needs of the two young men who HAVE become members of our church, and we are providing a safe space for them and their friends to talk about spiritual things with each other. Because college kids often focus on social justice and political activism, I hope to help them find a "cause" to learn about and work for as a group, perhaps culminating in a mission for the entire parish to support. I want to teach them about the resources of The Episcopal Church that they can use in effecting change in our society. For example, one of the young men is a deep thinker, an intellectual sort, and I helped him get a summer job as a counselor at the SUMMA Theological Debate Camp for high school students at Sewanee this summer. Who knows where this experience will lead him? The other young man is on fire for immigration reform and ways to stem the racial bias that exists in our community against Mexicans, and I hope to introduce him to a local Latino attorney who is forming a coalition to try to bridge the gap that exists between the good ol' boy locals and the Latinos who have come here seeking work. Again, who knows where this will lead? These boys won't be with us for long; they will be going on to finish their bachelor's degrees elsewhere. The message I want them to get from their time here is that The Episcopal Church is a loving place that will embrace them wherever they are on their spiritual journey and will provide them with a safe space, food, and caring adults who will guide them in following the Holy Spirit's call. The key is to be a catalyst rather than an engine, to show them all the opportunities out there and then step aside. There may come a day when we have no college students at my church, and when that time comes, we will follow my old priest's advice and let the College Ministry die. But hopefully we will keep our eyes and hearts open for a resurrection down the road.
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